Driving Sagas

So I have been thinking about the whole driving thing lately. Many of you might remember that I probably held off on getting a license so long because I was pretty much a total pussy who was content to stay in his shell. But alas, in these day’s, that isn’t the case. So I feel that I must inundate people with my daily trials and tribulations behind the wheel.

First, if you haven’t been sober in a parking lot in Center City at 2AM, then all power too you. Because if you had been, you would never get on the road ever again. Imagine walking to your car, and seeing people stumble to them. See some chick yelling, if not slurring, about how it is her 21st birthday. Then you see her friends, and they aren’t much better either. Shit, next time I’m driving at 2AM, I might have to take a drink just to feel comfortable driving home. I will not, but jeez, it sure seems tempting.

OK, this is not too articulate, but Fuck New Jersey. The next time that I hear someone say “just take the jug handle”, I will just say, “just take it in the pooper”. Who the fuck are the civil engineers for Jersey? There are the jug handles and the double clovers which just suck my ass. Then there are the lack of warning signs. Like, you will be driving, then they will say, 4 major highways next right, without a warning. Then, of course, there are the exit/onramps. You will be trying to exit on the same lane that people will be trying to enter on. Is there anything else to say but “What the fuck”?

Then there are streets like Alleghany, with all the homeless people walking across the street and the asshole drivers who cut you off. I would have to say that I made my driving bones by driving on Alleghany avenue every day.
All that I know is that I love driving. I can’t believe that I said that, but I really do. I’m a total yuppie. Me and my satellite radio. I may be killing the environment, but damn, it sure is convenient.