More and More About Less and Less

So it seems that nowadays, in our professional lives, specialization is key. There is the old added saying that we learn more and more about less and less, until eventually, we know everything about nothing. But I think that our personal lives are a lot different. I think that when we first meet people, we talk a lot about nothing, and as the relationship progresses, we talk less, but our conversations have more meaning.

I think back to the first conversations that I had with some of my good friends. The topics spanned from science to sex to drugs to religion to the arts to computers to you name it. These talks could, of course, have spanned multiple hours, and while fun and fulfilling for both parties, they just were not meaningful in the long run. They were just what you talk about in the beginning of any relationship. They were the placeholders until people felt each other out. They were the things that you throw out there just to get the bullshit that divides you out the way. And you can have a drink, pack a bowl, smoke a cigar, talk artsy fartsy, or pick your poison of social lubricants until you can actually just talk without any of that stuff.

Then, there will be one day, when because you are busy, or because it needs less time, or whatever, you find yourself talking less. But for some reason the conversations seem more meaningful. Part of it is because we cherish what we don’t have all the time. But the other part is that in the end, you know each others rhythm. There’s no explaining to do. And if you have gotten this far, you have learned to except the other person for who they are and who they are not. Am I perfect? Of course not. Are my friends perfect? Not in the least. But I do know that the people who I feel closest to are perfect the way they are as it relates to my life. I don’t sit around thinking about how it would be so cool if only they acted a certain way or changed a certain thing. I like them fine the way they are, and they the same for me.

And at the end of the day, you don’t hang out all the time, or talk on the phone or IM for hours about every little detail of your life or what you are thinking at every moment, or how the Eagles are doing (E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles!). But what we do talk about is each other, our relationships, me and you, or so it seems. Because we all have skeletons, and we never share everything, but our lives together are an open book, and that’s how it should be.