Come Home, My Friend

So I’ve been thinking about the lives of some of my friends lately, and they are all doing very well. They are dating, getting married, having children, making career moves, finding new hobbies, finding new friends, and generally exploring life to the fullest. As a good friend, which I only hope I am, it really fills my heart with joy to see this. I am one of my friends’ biggest cheerleaders, as they are mine. That, of course, is the way it is supposed to be. By being selfless and having them do the same, the ironic happens; the selfish needs of everyone are met by selfless acts. It all comes full circle.

See, that is the ideal world. That’s how it should be. That’s what we all should aspire to be. But then there is the ugly human side that creeps through. It starts with envy. You see your older friends moving and shaking, and you get jealous. You are thinking, why can’t I have that? But what you don’t realize is that not only is the grass greener on the other side of the street, but your grass is still growing. You only see the result, but you don’t realize that the things that you are going through now are what they went through too. You don’t see the blood sweat and tears that once marked their faces. After all, you didn’t realize that they had just washed it away, leaving their face smooth and shiny, with the aid of those lovely poofy exfoliation thingies.

Then you feel like you are in competition with their success in life. It is hard enough getting the time that you so selfishly want on a normal day. Now you have to deal with these new factors. You feel like you are in competition with the new date, the new spouse, the new kid, the new job, the new hobby, the new friend, and the new life. You begin to, in those rare but ugly times, resent these new things.

Now that’s an ugly place, but it is a human place. It may be something that is very rare, but it is still very real. You feel happy, but that happiness does not come without its side effects. I think that everything in life is like that. It’s that whole equal and opposite reaction thing. If you get drunk, you will, my friend, get a hangover. If you eat too much good food at the restaurant, you will get “the itus” and want to go home and fall asleep.

Every time I go to Santo Domingo, the hangover of this inebriating experience comes in the ride to the Airport. You are in the car, driving on El Malecon, the beautiful road alongside the rocky beach. You see the palm trees, the crystal blue water splashing up against the rocks, the sun shining through the clouds, the fortes, the Cathedrals, the restaurants with their wonderful food, and the clubs with their neon signs and enchanting music. You are sitting there, in the car, holding back the tears, thinking, “Why the fuck am I going home?”

That’s life man. You have to face reality and deal with things. You have to face the ugly side of your life. You have to look at the smog, the crime, the traffic, the ignorance, the dirt, and the all and all daily grind in all their glory. You have to come my friend.