I Hate Meetings
I hate meetings. I mean, is there anything more fake and overly time consuming in life? Ever go to a meeting with 20 people that only needs 3? How many times do I have to be interrupted by some ass face who forgot to turn off his cell phone that plays loud and annoying Classical music in MIDI format? I mean, these people are shitting on Haydn’s grave, aside from annoying me. That’s worse than the Phrenologists that stole his head. Look douchbag, they will call you back! Believe me when I tell you that YOU ARE NOT THAT FUCKING IMPORTANT!
See, that is what this whole meeting thing is about, making people feel special. Hey, your Boss may be a dick, and he may never listen to you, but hey, at least he “keeps you in the loop”. Then there are these bureaucrat assholes who do nothing but go to meetings all day. I mean it is that unique combination of self-importance and total and utter sloth that is astounding. “Hey Bob, I would do that thing for you that I actually get paid for, but I have a meeting in 10 minutes with the Vice President of Widget Affairs.” Don’t get me started on all the fake ass self important VP’s, chairpersons, and coordinators of nothingdom there are in the world. “I’m the VP of Custodial Affairs.” Nope, you are a Janitor, you douche.
And please, one at a time. I propose that the next meeting that I have to go to, I will bring a Conch ah la Lord of the Flies. No one can talk without the Conch. Hey, Piggy has the Conch. I know that no one will listen to him, but shut the fuck up and act like you are. It’s the least you can do, if we are all going to be put through this preposterous exercise. Right? As my man Benny Frank used to say, “We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”
Will the self-important circle jerk ever end? I mean, didn’t your Grandma tell you that you will go blind or have hair grow on your palms? When will the madness ever stop?
posted by Charles @ 6:10 PM
3 Comments:
There is the old saying,
"If you cannot do anything productive, then become a teacher."
to which I add,
"and if you cannot teach, become an administrator!"
Is there some Montanan buried deep within you?
Jake:
Is there some Montanan buried deep within you?
I hang out with your brother way way too often. I'm an Agnostic who knows about Reformed Theology and a die hard anti-NRA liberal who has a sudden urge to shoot Elk after doing target practice on Prairie Dogs.
Sooner or later, I'll learn how to tie flies. The boys have been trying to show that to me for a while now.
Be careful on learning how to tie flies!
I heard of a guy in Missoula who tied flies so as to support his marijuana habit, but he had to smoke pot so he could tie flies.
That is a vicous cirlce.
Anti-NRA + desire of Elk Hunting=
bow hunting for elk!
But you would have to use a recurve, longbow, or selfbow and shoot it instinctively (no sights). Now, that is intense.
No, I haven't taken an elk that way (uncle jake= 9 elk, christian= 1 little baby elk; snicker, snicker, snicker :), but I have taken, oh, about 3 deer that way. VERY INTENSE. On the ground, 5-20 yards away, only moving when the deer is looking the other way, no camoflage, just the hunter and the hunted.
Oh, and unlike some blood thirsty relatives, I don't kill just for the fun of it. Protection or provision. So, I won't kill a Prairie Dog unless I am STARVING, or it is charging me like a wounded Cape Buffaloe.
And when I choose to kill, it is my resposibility to make the death as instantaneous and humane as possible.
But I enjoy it in the sense of having mastered a skill.
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