Bodily Functions
Ever have to bust ass in a crowded place? Does this usually coincide with just starting to talk to an attractive interesting person of the opposite sex?
Ever have to take a dump in the middle of a very good phone or IM conversation?
Ever have a great conversation interrupted by having to piss like every 10 minutes?
Now, usually, I would have something profound to say about this, but I don’t. I mean, I could probably make up some metaphor or talk psychobabble. Maybe I would say that your bodily functions are a symbol of a blocked wish for a cathartic experience. Or maybe I would say that your bodily functions are just a metaphor for your not letting anyone into your life.
Now, I could do this. I really could. And I would make a great argument and make it sound all pseudo intellectual. I could even throw in mathematical terms like isomorphism. But sometimes you don’t need to be intellectual. Sometimes you have to just sit back and look at the ironies and absurdities in life. Hey, and sometimes, you might even need to hear a good piss and fart joke. It is beneath no one.
posted by Charles @ 5:33 PM
9 Comments:
Not to be critical but dude, U should REALLY consider erasing a few words from ur vocab. "Dump" , "Bust @ss", and "Piss" are all words/phrases which don't really need to spoken, regardless of if they exsist or not. :) There are better terms.. hell there are better topics..LOL
Talk about it or not.. that's ur choice. I find that selecting your topics of convo are like choosing ur battles. Choose wisely.
:)
I do admire ur honesty though.
I someone embarrassed by their bodily functions? It was all meant to be a joke. Sure, the stuff described has definitely happened, but it isn't plaguing me every day. Like I said, sometimes, you just need a good piss and fart joke.
Martin Luther said:
"Sometimes, when the devil comes to tempt you, and you cannot resist, al you can do is bend over and fart in his face."
Jake: I want you as my uncle.
If you can fix the !@#$%^&* !!! spy-ware virus on my computer, consider yourself adopted!
Well, first of all, if you don't have either Norton Anti-Virus or MacAfee, then get them now. Once you have one of them, if you don't already, then make sure you have all the latest virus definitions, and then fully scan your computer.
After that, download the latest version of Ad Aware here. Run that, and clean your computer of spy ware.
That probably should do it. Anything else, and I would need to be at your computer.
So why didn’t your techy brother and nephew help you with this?
Charles,
thanks for the advice on using "AdAware." I have also tried "Spy Doctor" and "Spy Bot-Search and Destroy". None of these three have worked. I just ran Ad Aware and the program freezes up when you try to delete the SOB spy programs when it finds them. I have also manually written down the file names of these warts, and I either cannot find them on the computer, or when I do, I am not allowed to delete them!
Some of the names are:
-C:\windows\dvpd.dll
- BDS/ Dumadore.AZ.2
-dlmax[1].cab
-windows\system\hv.dll
c:\windows\temp\drtemp\spike.exe
Your recommendations were in line with my techno-geek brother; no offense to him, I was just hoping to get a fresh perspective.
By the way, all my programs are alledgedly active, but just a few minutes ago, a xxx porn site popped up and woudln't let me delete it. So I did "ctrl,alt,del", and the bastard told me would shut down my whole system! Lying SOB!!!!!!!
I did it anyway, and away it went. Firewall? What Firewall?
Short end of the stick, I will call up my local shaman tomorrow and see if she can fix this. My temper is rising. To the moon Alice. To the moon!
Thanks anyways for your time.
These programs might be loaded in the registry. You might want to delete any entries in the registry referring to them, but you must do this with care. If you don't know what you are doing, then don't do it, or call your brother while you are doing it.
If you want to do this, go to run, type regedit. Search for the full paths that you list in your comment. Any entry referring to them should be deleted.
DO THIS WITH CARE. THE REGISTRY IS A DANGEROUS THING.
You sound like Gandalf warning Frodo not to put on the Ring!
Don't worry, I am not going into the registry to start deleting stuff, as much fun as you make it sound.....
The local shaman has "apparently" fixed this Beast. I say "apparently" because I am still skepticle. Time will tell.
This whole episode has made me an afficianado of the Matrix.
Kill the machines!!!
But then, what happened to me, is that sort of like what Morpheus was doing to the Matrix?
And does that mean I am Mr. Smith?
Yrchh!
I really mean it when I say "Thank You!"
And if ever you need a three-way switch fixed, add a 220V outlet, or steal a little power from the power company, drop me a line :)
"Electricians can do anything, we just charge extra for miracles"
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