Booze Hound Rocking

I dropped by Fergie's Pub one night and went upstairs, cause a lot of nights they have very interesting bands playing. They had a band there, and they did what they called “Booze Hound Rocking”, which basically means that they were drunk off their asses while they played. They were quite good, or maybe I was just quite drunk as well. They did a lot of fun songs, like they did this song in French for some reason. To the best of my knowledge, none of the members even speak French. Then they did a song where the catch line was “why did you get a dog if you can’t afford to feed it”, an ode to all those wonderful drug addicted panhandlers in Center City who have a dog in tow. It’s fun to be around interesting people who don’t take themselves too seriously.

This experience just got me thinking about the whole Bar culture. Like what would it be like to be a waiter or a Bartender? When thinking about the service industry, I always think about a scene in Deconstructing Harry. Woody Allen’s character, Harry, just got done getting a blowjob from a prostitute. He asked her why she did that as her profession, and she said that it “beats waitressing”. To which Harry replied, “Every Hooker I’ve ever been with says that it beats waitressing. Waitressing must be the worst fucking job in the world.” I tend to agree that it must probably suck, but sometimes it looks like they have a lot of fun. I don’t think that it is a job for everyone.

One night I was out with a friend of mine, and I noted that the Bartender was pretty belligerent. He asked me to imagine what it would be like to deal with drunken assholes all night every night. He pointed across the Bar and said, “See that guy over there? I guarantee that he’s an asshole.” I have to say that he has a good point.

And then there are the different types of Bars. There are the Dive Bars where you can get “the special”, a shot of Jim Beam and a can of Pabst for 3 bucks, and then there are the Bars where everyone is prim, proper, and pretentious, and a Lager Costs 4 bucks. Now, hanging out with some of my Beer snob friends in Mt. Airy has made me sort of a beer snob as well. But sometimes, there is nothing like going to a Dive Bar with normal people, great music, and cheap beer.

Then there is this new trend in a lot of Bars of having those little puzzle machine things. My favorite game is the match game. For those who don’t know, you are given two photos, usually of half naked women, that are identical except for 5 places, and you have to point them out in a given amount of time. Usually the easiest things to find are in the hair, the fake cones, and the flowers that are usually in a corner somewhere. These are great places to just start chatting with new people. It is like the modern day Jukebox.

Ah, and who can forget the darts with what I call “Crazy Cricket”. I’ve played Cricket like 5 times, and I still don’t know how to play. Thank God for those dart machines that keep score. I was out with my friend the other night, and one of the Bars had real darts. REAL DARTS? Let’s do a formula: massive amounts of alcohol + drunken assholes + sharp and pointy projectiles = X. I can only imagine that X = “a total disaster” on some nights.

I only have one question. If you know your Bartender’s name, and they know yours, then does that make you an alcoholic?