Get Regular With Relax

I was watching an old episode of Sex and the City the other night. It was the one where Samantha goes out with a guy who is so well endowed that she can’t handle him. Imagine being known as that guy. I’m wondering whether it would be a good thing or a bad thing. Then, of course, my mind started wandering and thinking of all the other sucky roles there are out there.

I heard that a lot of the people who played the criminals in the America’s Most Wanted reenactments got mistaken for the real criminals all the time. Imagine being actually mistaken for an ax murderer on the run.

Then, of course, there are all those commercials. You know the ones I’m talking about, PMS meds, tampons, Genital Herpes meds, erectile dysfunction meds, and laxatives. The funny thing about these commercials is that the characters seem so happy to have these conditions. I mean how happy would u be if you were constipated on PMS with a big wad of fuckin cotton or dioxin ridden bleached wood fibers in you, while you had an STD and are married to a guy who can’t get it up?

Imagine being that actor and talking to someone in a bar who thinks that you look familiar. “Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?” “Yeah, I’m the guy in the Levitra commercial who finally got to throw the ball through the hoop.” Or, imagine being like Mia Farrow’s character in Radio Days doing a commercials where you sing “Get Regular With Relax”. I mean, are the residuals really worth it?