The One

I was just thinking of some of the people around me who are in happy marriages, and how touching it is to be around people who love each other deeply. My parents have this kind of love, but when it’s your parents, it seems kind of disgusting. I mean you want to think that you were born by Osmosis or something. Even the thought of the birds and the bees when it comes to my own parents makes me sick, but it is great to be the product of such a deep and loving relationship; the kind of relationship that I want to have when I “grow up”.

I remember going to a wedding party for my friend’s older Brother, and the Mom got up and talked about her relationship with her husband, and about how they love each other and their kids. She had this whole thing where she said how she was always a lapse Catholic, and then tried Buddhism, and then just settled for “not Jewish”. It was funny and also touching because of how it marked how accepting they are of one and other. But hearing her and her husband talk about their love for one another was just amazing.

The same thing goes for another friend of mine. One of the times I was over his house for dinner, he and his wife were telling me how they met, how he proposed, and some of the struggles that they had early on. But their words were not as powerful as their expressions. See, the kind of deep love that I saw brings up a lot of emotions, and their faces were filled with pure joy over their love for each other, mixed with sorrow over some of the things that they had to face together. It was quite moving, and it is good to be friends with people who are capable of loving like that.

See, I want the kind of love that my parents have and my friends have. I want to wake up every mourning and thank God that I found this women. I want to look at her and not be able to keep my hands off her. And this has nothing to do with looks. Although, we all would prefer a Helen of Troy who could both literally and figuratively launch a thousand ships. But looks don’t last forever, and they don’t really matter, and love should. Thus, the old saying, “You show me a hot chick, and I'll show you a man who's tired of fucking her.”

See, what is sexy is a persons mind. The ability to always have a great conversation about anything, even if one person knows nothing about the subject. That beautiful volley back and forth like a great women’s tennis match. The kind where you serve them hard, and they give it back to you hard. Then you try and trip each other up with great shots that get you off of your game, but you recover beautifully, returning a great shot of your own. The kind where you keep each other on you’re A game.

What also is sexy is a person’s heart. Look, Pamela Anderson’s fake tits are not going to take care of you when you are sick, or rear your children into fine upstanding citizens. A real beautiful and strong woman will. They will also make you feel like you are the shit but at the same time call you an asshole when you need it. There is nothing sexier than being called out on your bullshit. The difference between that and nagging is subtle, but clear. Nagging is about her, and her calling you out on your bullshit is about you.

When you talk to people who are down on relationships, there is a common theme. They all say that they don’t like the sacrifices that they had to make. Now, I’m not real experienced with this sort of thing, so I’m sure I have a lot to learn, but I think that there is something common in their stories. It wasn’t that they were asked to make sacrifices. It was that they were asked to sacrifice the essence of who they were for this idea called a relationship or a marriage. It wasn’t that they were stubborn and didn’t want to go out with the guys less, or any of that. It’s that their mate basically said that if they wanted to be in the relationship, then they couldn’t be who they really were. How would you like to be with someone who basically says that who you really are is not enough.

Hopefully, we can all find that special person who loves who we are and makes us better people as well. Not many people do find that and keep it. I don’t know if I’m ready for that now. That’s because of my lack of experience and just not finding the right girl yet. I do want it eventually, but if I’m being honest, right now, I would just settle for a girl getting naked and talking dirty to me. Who knows? Maybe she could be the one.