Cloudy Day: The Will But Not the Way

I’m pretty lethargic by nature, and I am usually content with sitting at home hugged up with a good book on programming or Tulipmania, or puttsing around online Googling worthless knowledge and going on IMDB to get useless movie trivia and to study up for my next game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, which I have surprisingly never played. But today, it is the first day in a long while that I can get on my Bike and cruise down Kelly drive, trying not to hit Geese, culminating in a stop at Boathouse Row where I usually buy an overpriced pretzel from the “Chief” and banter with the people around me. But by some magic stroke of fate, I’m sitting at home with a cold.

Analogously, when it comes to my work, it seems that I usually either have the will but not the way or the way but not the will. I will get into work, or in present days, fall out of bed and walk 5 feet to my computer, and I will say to myself, “I am going to kick ass today.” Once I tell myself that, everything goes wrong. I start getting errors saying Office is not installed, my disk gets fragged causing that lovely core dump blue screen of death, or a normal 5-minute task takes 2 hours.

Then there are those times when everything works, except my head. I’ll have plenty of work to do and everything is working perfectly, but nothing seems to come out. It’s like there is this cloud over my brain. No amount of coffee or breaks to take walks or play Counter Strike can get me to a clear horizon.

Then there are those days that come few and far between, when the stars are aligned just perfectly, and you have the will and the way to move heaven and earth. Don’t I wish that today were one of those days. I’d ride for miles with the wind to my back and the sun shining on my face, passing the still melting dirty snow banks. Then I’d get some much needed work and studying done in the comfort of my PJ’s. But I am just stuck here, in the mud, with this thundercloud over my head, and I just can’t wait for the rain to stop pelting my face.