Surreal Rocky Harbor

The other day I was thinking about my college days and some of the parties that I went to. I remember having a lot of fun indulging myself in the things that college students indulge themselves in. But every once and a while, I would have a surreal moment at these parties. I would be sitting in a smoky room with a plastic cup filled with “Beast” while the bowl was being passed around. I indulged myself just like everyone else, but I remember thinking that some of the people in the room’s whole life revolved around such indulgences. They had nothing going for them, and they had no motivations other than the life of the party. I remember thinking that if these kids where Black from the inner city and not White from the suburbs, then they would be a statistic or a bad joke.

These kids did everything wrong. They hardly went to class, and they got drunk and stoned every night. But they were not the first in their family to go to college. They had a safety net, and their parents were paying for school. They didn’t have to worry about heightened expectations or getting a good GPA in order to keep their scholarship. Most people who make even half the mistakes that they make ruin their lives.

So is it a burden to be a Black person? It depends on how you look at it. I could talk about institutional racism, eugenics, social Darwinism, and the history of Slavery, but I am not. I think that when it really comes down to it, being Black means that many people will not go out of their way to help you or give you the benefit of the doubt the way they do with Whites. Now, you can sulk in your misery of being at the bottom of the ladder, or you can use it as a source of strength and build your own ladder.

My father told me, as his father told him, that because of my Black blood, I will have to work twice as hard as the next guy to go half as far. Now I was never poor, so I could afford to make more mistakes then the next guy, but I took it to heart. I’ve used it as a source of strength. Because, at the end of the day, if you know that you aren’t going to get away with not doing the right thing, then it is motivation to stay on course. I think that one of the reasons that I like the Arts so much is because in the back of my mind, I told myself that as a Black person, I would have doors closed on me if I wasn’t worldly.

You know they say that in fighting, you should use your weaknesses as your strength. If the other guy is bigger than you, then you are more nimble and can use his weight against him. Arthur Ash won Wimbledon by playing on stereotypes. People thought that because he was Black, he would crush the ball, and instead he applied backspin, doing the exact opposite, catching his opponent off guard. If people have low expectations for you, then it is easy to look good by exceeding them. All I can do is keep my race as a beacon to keep me on course for the rocky harbor of my goals.